Damn Boys !

I have a final in five days, and I've done almost no studying. I have a big date on Tuesday. I'm copying Steph and going out for dinner with a guy from further up the island and then to the movie 'Nacho Libre' and then for a walk/drive. He has a hot new Jetta, so the drive was a necessity.

I've become really enamoured with a couple boys right now, and I can't focus on studying. I need to just take a quick break from them all, and do this exam. I really want to have a boyfriend by the end of the summer, but we will see if it happens. Its my personal goal, so yeah, I hope....


UPDATE:

yeah, I give up. He called today to say that he has to work tommorrow suddenly. He is an addictions counsellor at a local drug recovery centre called Edgewood. I'm really quite mad, not necessarily at him, although he gets some of it, but more at just fate. Fine, if the universe doesn't want anything to ever work out for me in the way of dating, then I won't even try. I mean, so far I have wasted a huge chunk of my time on it, and I've literally gotten no benefit at all.

Fate is a concept that has existed since the beginning of humanity. The idea that our lives are guided by some overwhelming purpose or plan. So if such a plan exists, doesn't it defeat the idea of trying to acheive something. I mean, if fate is all powerful, then whats the point in trying ? Or, do we, by trying, fulfill our own fates ?

Whatever the answer, I know one thing, I'm sick of all this. Sick of settling for mediocre, sick of being disappointed on the first date and wasting money and time on it, sick of all the crap and work of matchmaking. If fate exists, then either it doesn't want me to have a relationship, or it wants to make me work hard for it. Either way, fuck fate. I'm fine on my own, and so shall I remain, for eternity.