I don't wanna ...

I am SO not in the school mood right now.

I have a 12 page paper I need to write and two tests that I have to write next week, and I have this week off for Reading Break, and guess what ? I don't wanna study !

I'm seriously unmotivated right now, Its not that I don't THINK I should study, I just honestly am avoiding it very well. I got some reading done tonight, and about 30% of my math assignment done, but thats it so far, hehe.

My goal is to finish my math assignment by Friday. I want to have one section of my 12-page paper written by Sunday night, and I want to be fully studied for both of my tests. Its a lot, but it shouldn't be too hard really. I just CANNOT get started... argh.

Well, I did some reading and studying tonight, tomorrow night will be working on my paper. Wednesday night will be the Math assignment... that sounds like a plan that might work... yea.

Valentines... yippee

I love today... its raining (which most of you know is my favourite weather when I am indoors) and my Cody just sent me the sweetest hallmark e-card from work. We're gonna go out to a movie tonight, I'm excited, something simple yet enjoyable.

In unrelated news, I got a midterm back today, and the mark was slightly disappointing. I love the course, and I pride myself in getting great marks in courses I love (lets not talk about the others). Its with my favourite Prof, Dr. Gugl who is from Austria and she is so sweet and helpful and adorable. Best word to desribe her, adorable, and she always wears these warm cozy hip-looking retro-style sweaters and jeans and I dunno, she reminds me of a cool Aunt. Anyways, I like her and I like the class. AND I GOT 74% ON THE MIDTERM, WTF ?!

The best thing is, after analysing the marking, out of 10 questions, I got 7 of them PERFECT, not a flaw, not a thing wrong !! I would like to see a statitician who is perfectly correct 7 our of 10 times, or a politician who knows what the hell they are talking about that often. Then !! On the stuff I didn't get perfect, I got marks for knowing the underlying concept or idea, but missing out a minor detail that became important to the calculations. How amazing would it be, if every person in life, know 70% of their job/position perfectly correctly, and then knew the underlying concept but were fuzzy on the details for the other 30%.. ??? How much smoothly would business and government function if that were true for all employees and workers ?!?!?!

GAWD. I know, I know, my mark is fair, and it is a true reflection of how much I knew overall, I just think that it is silly that I only get a B (for my 74%) for knowing more on a subject that pretty much 99% of the world population.

Yea, that was just a rant cause I wanted a better mark. I feel better now.

Dork

Hrm. It is 10:16pm and I was working on my Software Engineering assignment (in fabulous Linux, well Unix .... and Perl) for about 20 minutes before I got distracted and ended up looking at screenshots of the new Windows Vista (specifically looking at the Ultimate version). They have totally stolen some GUI ideas from Mac and are simplifying the entire look, making the icons bigger and more user-friendly while not looking like a design to make sure old ppl can still read the screen through their rediculously thick lenses. Anyways, umm... I'm rambling. Pretty much this entire post is a ramble. So.. yea, I also find it interesting that Windows Vista is the 'most secure version of windows ever' so I started reading about it, and it does have a whole lot of security features, encoding, encryption and backup storage systems built-in. However, I still fear they might have missed the boat on making the code behind it 'simple' (relatively) and crash-free, but that remains to be seen.

So, just a thought. But, as I was doing this, and thinking/reading about this, I realised, I am far more of a dork than I can ever admit.

There, thats it, my 10:22pm revelation. Goodnight.

Dinner Party

Well, Cody and I just officially hosted our first fabulous dinner party in our new place. My friend Stacey came over, and Cody's friend Andrew came with his gf and his friend. So, there was 6 of us, and we had a wonderful curry dinner that Cody made, with espresso beverages flavoured with liqueurs of all sorts as a desert. It was lovely.

Its so nice to be downtown now. I have never been the host of any sort of social get together. It was just so nice to have people over, have good food and drinks and then play some cards games and watch crazy people across the street sword fight in a parking lot (true story, and very amusing). I have always been the person to go downtown to some else's parties or host my own with someone at their place, never at my own house, and never so close to everything.

Its awesome, if we want to see a movie, we walk 3 blocks to the movie theatre. If we want to get some last minute groceries then we walk over a block and get them, and along the way we can stop at the local Starbucks that is a block away, or go to the Chinese food restaurant that has great lunch specials that is literally right next to our condo building. Its just all so easy and freaking fantabulous !!

Anyways, I love living downtown, its grand.

I want to write more, but I am really tired, so I am off to bed, more blogging tomorrow. I really need to start this back up again !!

Bank of Montreal ?

So, Cody is a client at BMO Financial Group, and he loves them. So, I looked up their banking packages, and they rock, its amazing how cheap and efficient banking with them is...

They have a student banking package that is free, and its not like other banks where the package is basic and includes nothing, its actually got a lot of features. Anyways, so I am impressed, definately they beat anything that RBC has. So, I went in to open an account and do some other financial things (hey, its private... you don't need to know). I even have a banker that I deal with specifically, with RBC you as a client can have someone you like to see, but they don't monitor your account or anything, this lady actually does. I am impressed to say the least.

Best thing is, I applied at BMO months ago (back in the summer) before I got the job with RBC. The manager at the branch still remembered me, and my personal banker told me today she had talked with him. Apparently, the only reason he didn't hire me was that they had just hired a slew of new people at the time, but he liked me. They have some openings for (get this !) Financial Services Managers, and they are part-time positions. They would be willing to work around my shool schedule just like they do at RBC with me being a teller, but at RBC, there are no sales positions (office people in the branch) that are part-time. Well, BMO has started having part-time ones !!!

I am so excited, its totally more leaning towards what I want to do, and its with a bank that I believe in, I would bank with them even if I wasn't an employee. I do not think I would bank with RBC if it wasn't for the fact that I work there. Anyways, so I have the Branch Manager's number, and I think I'm going to call him on Monday and set up a time to see him.

I am totally excited, even though I already have a million things I am doing, this is too good of a possibility to pass up, Wish me luck !!

So much...

I'm working a lot, its seriously starting to toll on my gorgeous looks and cramp my style.

Anyways, so worked at the bank today, that was fun. I opened an account that is joint with Cody today, so that we can pay all of our bills together for the new place. Its totally exciting, but I didn't think much of it until about an hour after we had done it, its kinda a big step and a big leap of faith in the relationship. I think its totally the right thing, but I just think that its cool that I trust and am committed enough to do this already. Anyways, I was just pondering on that topic.

I finished my math assignment last night, that was also exciting, and I'm trying to sort out this virtual machine thing on my computer so I can fool around in Unix/Linux for my Software Engineering class.

Anyways, I'm going to go fool around with that now....

Daunting.

So, I have a new home !! Cody and I have found the perfect suite downtown, right on Yates, and smack in the middle of everything. I'm tres excited to move in and enjoy the space, but I am daunted by the idea of moving there right now. Its so much work and stres to move, especially when its my first time on my own, with a bf, and while I'm doing full time schooling.

I started the task today. I went and got some groceries from Thrifty's and asked my friend Amy who works there for some heavy-duty potatoe boxes to start packing books. Now, Cody has warned me that there is a lot more 'stuff' in my room than I am aware of, but I had no idea until this evening. I got three large potatoe boxes and proceded to pack them when I got home. The first one was quickly filled with old textbooks and notes from past schoolwork that I want to keep (but will almost definately never use). Then I cleaning off the top two shelves of my bookcase. Only two shelves ! They took up two entire boxes worth of books ! I now still have my entire desk and the bottom two shelves (not to mention other books tucked into the niches of my room) remaining !!

So, suffice to say I have more books than previously estimated. I am going to tackly my endless piles of crap and collected random nonsense next. These include christmas cards from my extended family for the last 5 years that I have never had the heart to recycle. I also found my old camera in my closet, along with two undeveloped rolls of film (the fact that these are even from the era of rolls of film should give you an idea as to how much of a packrat I can be). My goal is to get through all the useless crap that I have and do not wish to take with me within the next week or so, then all I will have left is the boxes upon boxes of meaningful crap and books !

I swear sometimes I get the urge to just burn all this stuff, its such an annoyance. I vow, that from now on, I am going to be a minimalist.

P.S. I am also inviting my friends to come and help me pack. In return, people who help me pack (or have a damn good excuse) are invited to our house warming party once we move in !! YAY.

P.P.S. There are attached photos of the new place, enjoy !

HELLO ?

Did you guys give up on me ?

I have not blogged in SO long its insane. I feel really bad about it actually, its like missing a long-time friend that you forgot about. Seeing them, you feel bad about slowly moving away, but they think that you are just a jerk. The conversation is awkward, and then afterwards, you know that you two will never be the same again.

So, I don't want us to be this way, my blog and I.

Updates:

Cody is slowly moving some stuff into the house that I live in. My mom is fully based in Vancouver now with her partner Claude and my little bro starts school in Kitsilano on Monday.

I just now started back to classes at UVic today, its exciting and nerve-racking. We (Cody and I) are currently in the process of finding a place to move into to live in ourselves. Lanny (Nathan's [an ex] former roomate's place) is one of the places we may be looking at. Not sure how comfortable I feel about that since I hate Lanny and Nathan and have lost a lot of respect for them. I think they are cool with me still, so hopefully won't be too bad...

Anyways, so we are moving Cody here slowly. He has moved his computer and his AWESOME laser printer here, and we are combining it all. I am really excited about us finding a place together. I am finding myself tending to just want to dive in and move into the first decent place we see, but I have to remember that we have about two months before I need to move out (possession date is March 31st). Anyways, I love that we can be picky and wait to find the right place, although the idea of moving while working an doing 5 courses at UVic is not exciting to me right now.

Anyways, got to get going. Megan (I spelt your name right !!!) is meeting us for coffee later, and we still have not had dinner. I work tommorrow and just picked up my new pants from the tailor's. I am so excited !

I will update more. I had the BEST New Years, it was awesome.

ALSO, Megan:

WHAT the HELL happened to your blog. I'm going to ask you about it tonight, haha !

The Simpsons - UK message

This is a hilarious Christmas message to the UK. I love how it refers to Boxing Day.

Enjoy and merry Eggnog Season !

Poker

My mom and Claude have started teaching my 10 year-old brother how to play Poker. They are essentially introducing him into the world of gambling. This has definately come from Claude, as my mom would never have been interested in such a thing. I'm very upset about it.

We had a big fight about the idea last night. It was suppose to be a 'discussion' but it ended up being a fight, with my mom defending Claude. What a surprise.

I'm so upset I could cry, and I did before bed last night.

Who the hell does he think he is to introduce my little brother to such a thing, when he has only been in his life for MAYBE 4 months. I'm ready to kick some ass, and I'm definately not leaving this one alone.

I hate Christmas

I really hate what Christmas has become.

People get so stressed out this time of year, and working at a Bank, you REALLY get to see how it affects people. So many people are taking out more credit, cash advances on their Visas, increasing their loans, etc. Its so unhealthy, both emotionally and financially.

I'm going to give simple presents this year. Presents that people will love, but also ones that they will appreciate. Not all this store-bought happiness in a shiny box that wears off in a couple weeks, but really interesting genuine presents.

I'm getting a cookbook for my friend Delyth, cause she can no longer eat gluten of any sort, so I'm going to get a gluten-free cookbook for her. I'm making some of my presents. There are a couple people I don't know what to get them, but I'm sure something will inspire me along the way.

Its the time we spend together that matters really. I'm going to make sure I spend time over the holidays with my family in Vancouver, at Claude's house, and with Cody. I just want us all to be together and to enjoy one another. Not to just sit on top of our heaps of shiny new toys, that we then get bored of days later. Cause really, when it comes down to it, those are just toys, they have no meaning to the heart. A gift of value and love is so much better, or even no gift and just spending quality time with those you love.

Yep, all I want for Christmas is quality time (and a hippopotamus).

Aveda Musical

OMG !

Steph did this musical as part of her Aveda class, and it is absolutely AWESOMELY HILARIOUS.

I love it, watch it !

you forgot something ...

Cody left this morning, on the 9am ferry. We agreed that it was best for him to take the early ferry today cause it is cheaper than regular ferries and he has stuff he needs to get to in Vancouver.

I seriously miss him already, and its been like 5 minutes since he left, he just called me, and he is waiting at the ferry terminal right now. I am really sad right now, sad that he isn't here, but I know that it is only termporary and that he is here in spirit.

So much has happened in the last week or so since I went over. I went over (called in sick to work on Saturday so I could) last weekend. Then when it was time for him to drop me off at the terminal to go home, he decided to just come over as well. It was such an awesomely romantic and wonderful time. The ferries were busy so we had to wait for about 2.5 hours and we just sat in the car and talked and read and went and got teas. It started snowing, and it just completed the magically surreal moment. It has been snowy all week here, which is odd for the southern coast, we never have snow that sticks and lasts, especially not for a week.

I worked during the week, and mom was stuck back in Vancouver because of the snow, so Cody and I had the house to ourselves. Work was closed on Monday, and we just hung out and had the most fabulous day doing nothing really at all but the simple small things and making the fun memories that you remember forever. While I worked this week, Cody made some absolutely amazing dinners for us, the first was a complete surprise. I walked home from work and was cold and not in the best of spirits and went right up to my room to change. He then calls me down to come look at something. I walked into the kitchen and there was white wine with a beautiful set table and a lovely aroma. He had cooked us the most amazing meal. Spinach stuffed mushroom caps for appetizer, then seared Cod with a homemade pecan pesto and tortellini on the side. It was absolutely fabulous.

We went to see his Aunt Marge who lives in Sidney as well, and shovelled her driveway and played many a card game with her. She really appreciated it, and she was really a lot of fun to spend the a couple evenings with.

We did so much this week, I cannot even begin to write it all on here. I cannot even describe the feeling of this week either. It has been so magical and surreal. I feel like I had found the most perfect place in life and the most perfect person whom to share mine with. I cannot help but be sad that he is gone for the week, but I am counting the seconds until next weekend.

then you think

Well, we all know how much of a pastime thinking is for me. Sometimes I do it too much, sometimes things are so obvious that you overthink them.

I overthought about Cody and I. I know I said I wouldn't, but I did. I was reading all the lack of big gestures, and not noticing the subtle but clear ones.

When I went over last weekend, Cody was still feeling ill from a bad flu he had had. Anyways, it was just his stomach, but he was also kinda tired. I understood this, but I also noticed that he didn't seem as cuddley or as obviously into me as I would expect. You know, the small things like moving towards you on the couch, or the little kisses and such. Anyways, I was so busy noticing the lack of those things that I didn't notice things that I should have.

Cody wanted to paint his room, and asked me what colours he should paint it, I said olive green with a redish brown feature wall. Then I came to visit, and guess what colour the room was, olive green with a red brick feature wall. Exactly what I had said, and I totally meant it as a hypothetical, I thought it was just what I thought, nothing more. He then asked me where to put his furniture and how to arrange it, and he did it exactly as I suggested. Little things like this, lots of them are signs. He picked me up from the ferry, spent his entire day with me doing whatever, and when I wanted to drive 20 minutes to out for coffee in Whiterock, we did it. He even secretly applied for a job here in Victoria, and didn't tell me because he didn't want to get my hopes up.

Hence, I cannot wait for next weekend. I have no more concerns about our relationship and its status. I know that he is a little scared to jump in too fast, cause we have been away for so long, and we had such big fights and things happened. At the same time, I know what he means to me, and I know that it is there. I know that he has to slowly open up to showing it, but that deep down he feels the exact same way, and that he loves me and us just as much as I do.

These things show what I should have realised, and they make me smile.

Dedication, me ?!

I apparently inspired an online friend of mine to start his own blog. We met online a little while ago, and I told him that I wasn't interested in dating, because I'm with Cody right now. He is super nice, and its good to chat with him about my more dorky vices, but I also had to make sure that I was clear about my friendship-only intentions. Anywyays, I just gave him the link to my blog, and he read it and apparently got inspired to read it. I think its cool, but he also dedicated a post to me, which is sweet (Dave). I'm happy I inspired him, I just hope that he understands we are just friends. I really do not want to lead anyone on the wrong way.

Anyways, I don't think I have. I am super happy to have a new blog to read about and comment on though. I have the regular ones I read (Megan, Qatarcat, Steph, etc) but its nice to have something new. I'm also really flattered that someone liked mine enough to start their own !! Anyways, I am off to pack for the weekend and get some schoolwork done.

I actually went to class tonight (yes Cody, I ACTUALLY did :P ) and I am so freaking excited to see him, and hang out with him. I actually contemplated calling in sick to work on Saturday, just so I could have an extra day, but its not a good idea. Especially since our bonuses are being handed out soon, best to look as good as possible right now ! So, no sick days for me. WOO HOO, 2 days till weekend !!

decisions, decisions

It's cold out. Really, Really, freakingly weirdly cold. I know that wasn't a full sentence, but I don't care. It's even suppose to snow up island tonight, in Nanaimo. I personally believe that whomever chooses to live in Nanaimo deserves the worst they can get, but thats just me.

Anyways, so I'm sitting at home, in my warm comfy room, looking out on the cold, stormy and windy night. I don't want to go to my class tonight. I'm suppose to get back my second midterm tonight though, but I still don't want to drive and walk in this cold stormy weather.

Its such a hard decision. I should probably go, but I really don't want to.

I'm talking to my two friends online about my conundrum. One lives in Edmonton, and she has absolutely no sympathy. What a jerk. The other, Julian, lives here, and he actually braved the weather to not only go to class, but to observe ducks earlier today. Apparently he has an animal behaviour class where he has to observe ducks for a project. I personally think he should have worn all plaid with a big fur hat and boots for the full effect, he disagrees. Anyways, he also thinks that it is way to cold and uncivilised outside to leave the house.

I'm thinking that I could just get a note from my doctor explaining how cold it was outside, and how far I have to drive. Therefore, because its so stormy and cold and I live so far from campus, it is dangerous for my health to leave the house. There is a high probability of me either catching a cold or getting in an accident. I think she will buy that. Now I just need to call my doctor tommorrow to get the note. ACTUALLY, my prof probably won't give a crap wether or not I'm there, and so I really do not need a note. I don't know why I ever thought I did. I guess somehow I thought it was an exam. Oh right, I'm getting my exam back tonight. Hrm, I don't want to miss that, but I REALLY don't want to be in the cold.

This is tought, a truly hard decision.

I think I will be more productive at home. Besides the fact that I've wasted a bit of time writing this long, slightly pointless blog entry, I'm generally more productive at home. I could do my laundry, finish my readings, and watch America's Next Top Model. I cannot wait to go to Vancouver this weekend. It's only for a day and a bit, which is annoying, but alas, I have to work.

I have a huge weekend off for Dec 16th, so I will take some extra time off, and hopefully go to visit Cody for a while so we can actually spend a good chunk of time together. It's hard to know where we are going, so I won't try. I'm just gonna go with the flow, and as it stands I like hanging out with him. I'm going to his friend's Alex's birthday party on Saturday night. I'm making sure I look my best for it, mostly cause I'm afraid Alex is more attractive than me. Since I'm an Aries, I simply cannot be outshone, so I'm going to have to look my most fabulous. Plus, it never hurts to let Cody know that I am damn hot, and look hotter than everyone else in the room. I think my main thing is that I cannot settle for being second at anything, second best, second fastest, second hottest, second choice, so I always make sure I beat the competition hands down. Or at least die trying !

I probably don't need to worry, or be that competitive, but its in my blood. I'm really jealous easily, unless I know I have nothing to worry about.

Wow, this post turned into quite the discussion about everything ! Anyways, I'm off to do some reading, screw class.

Treasure Down - Gabriel & Dresden


I love them.

I love this song.

I love the music video.

Watch it.

If I could turn back time....

I went to Vancouver, and spent the last 24 hours with Cody.

It was amazing, there are definately changes, and we are both (moreso him than me) a little wary of being urt and jumping in too fast. However, the important parts: the flutters in the stomach, the impulse to smile just looking at him, essentially the love is definately there. I felt like a giddy schoolgirl walking out of the terminal to see him for the first time in 3 months, and in those seconds I knew that I will do whatever it takes to make us work, or to at least try. I'm fine with travelling there, or him coming here, almost every weekend. The distance sucks, but we can make it work I think. I want to, thats what I know for sure.

Yes, the next paragraph is a little R-rated, and you do not have to read it, but its important. I had to mention it, so if you don't wanna read it, skip it ! If you read it and are disturbed, I don't care, haha.

I had my second ever mind-only orgasm with him this weekend. It has happened to me before, I can actually have the thrill and sensation of orgasm without actually physically ejaculating (its only happened once before though). That happened this weekend, I didn't tell him, but I guess now he will know. Without going into too many details, the vast majority of all the best sexual experiences I have ever had are with Cody. Hehe.

I'm home now, its bittersweet. I cannot wait to see him again next weekend or whenever it works out next. I have the usually happiness to be home and in my own bed and such, but I already kinda miss him. I'm so happy he is back. I'm happy that we are seeing one another, and I'm not going to think about the future and where we are going. What happens, happens. All I know is that he is worth every effort on my part to try and make it work. I hope he feels the same, but even if he doesn't, thats how I will continue to feel.

It takes time, and we have some healing to go through. If I could turn back time, I would definately do things a lot differently on my end, but thats what mistakes are for, to learn from. I think that the last 3 months were a big life lesson for me and him. And with that thought I am off to bed. Silly work tommorrow morning.

More Health for the Hungry

I just got back from the gym, my third visit to the gym this week. I don't really notice ANY difference, and I'm pissed off. I just went and bought multivitamins and some other health pills I need. I don't think I'm getting enough minerals and vitamins everyday, so yea, these will help.

I've also been tanning a bit more than usual, and I'm gonna keep it up; I've been way too pasty for way too long. My ass is flabby, its so annoying. If I wiggle it, it wiggles back. sigh.

I'm going to step it up at the gym, clearly I'm not doing enough. My goals are:

-Loose about 3 inches off my waist, mostly just the fat, and gaining muscle.
-No more wiggly, jelly-like ass.
-Slightly bigger arms.

Pretty much the only part of my body that I'm currently happy with are my legs. I have hot legs. They are a perfect combo of muscle and leanness, so they aren't scary and large, but they are lean and defined. I have even asked my girlfriends what they think, and yea, its my hottest part. I want the rest to match ! haha.

I'm going to yoga every Monday night from now on, and the gym 2-3 times a week, and tanning at least once a week. My freckles are coming back, so that might make up for the uglier bits.

Wish me luck !!

No Ice Cream

I'm doing the insane, trying to become healthier over the holiday season.

I had a huge craving for ice cream, so I went to the grocery store. Then, as I am standing there looking at the rows up rows of sweet, succulant, fabulously rich ice cream, all I can think about is how much fat and calories and sweeteners are in each one. Even the healthy ones have artificial crap and chemicals. So, I walked away from the isle. I just walked away without any ice cream.

Then I came home and tried to satisfy my craving with christmas oranges and tea. So far its been ineffective.