If I could turn back time....

I went to Vancouver, and spent the last 24 hours with Cody.

It was amazing, there are definately changes, and we are both (moreso him than me) a little wary of being urt and jumping in too fast. However, the important parts: the flutters in the stomach, the impulse to smile just looking at him, essentially the love is definately there. I felt like a giddy schoolgirl walking out of the terminal to see him for the first time in 3 months, and in those seconds I knew that I will do whatever it takes to make us work, or to at least try. I'm fine with travelling there, or him coming here, almost every weekend. The distance sucks, but we can make it work I think. I want to, thats what I know for sure.

Yes, the next paragraph is a little R-rated, and you do not have to read it, but its important. I had to mention it, so if you don't wanna read it, skip it ! If you read it and are disturbed, I don't care, haha.

I had my second ever mind-only orgasm with him this weekend. It has happened to me before, I can actually have the thrill and sensation of orgasm without actually physically ejaculating (its only happened once before though). That happened this weekend, I didn't tell him, but I guess now he will know. Without going into too many details, the vast majority of all the best sexual experiences I have ever had are with Cody. Hehe.

I'm home now, its bittersweet. I cannot wait to see him again next weekend or whenever it works out next. I have the usually happiness to be home and in my own bed and such, but I already kinda miss him. I'm so happy he is back. I'm happy that we are seeing one another, and I'm not going to think about the future and where we are going. What happens, happens. All I know is that he is worth every effort on my part to try and make it work. I hope he feels the same, but even if he doesn't, thats how I will continue to feel.

It takes time, and we have some healing to go through. If I could turn back time, I would definately do things a lot differently on my end, but thats what mistakes are for, to learn from. I think that the last 3 months were a big life lesson for me and him. And with that thought I am off to bed. Silly work tommorrow morning.