Happy

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look past the imperfections."

I had a great talk with Cody tonight. The best talk that I've had in a very long time.

The thing that I learned that really floored me, and I'm still just getting used to, is something he said and did. He had let me go, and wanted me to go out and date because he wanted me to be happy. He knew that I was in a space where I just wanted to have fun for a while, and he wanted me to. He just wanted what was best for me, even if it was not him.

I am really touched by that, and it explains a good deal of his behaviour. I don't know if that is something that I could do. It was a very mature and respectful thing to do. I feel that he really did love me and respect me to be able to do something like that.

We're still talking about things. I know something for sure though. The last couple weeks of trying to date have been painful. Its just not something I want to do, its a waste of my time and energy and something I just am not interested in. I'm way more comfortable sitting at home reading by myself, and being happy with myself.

I'm not really going to go man-hunting. If someone finds me, or if something happens, then PERHAPS I will. Only perhaps.

I would love to see Cody when he returns, I think he is the most pure-hearted person I have ever met romantically. I see what he means when he says he wants us to take it slower. I agree. I'm not going to lie or hide my feelings for him, I have them, and I always will. I think we need to chat and talk until he gets back, and then we need to get to know one another.

The Bah-hai have a belief. They don't date, they "discover one another's character". They believe in taking as much time and energy as it takes to really get to know someone and see their soul as a first step in romance. I think that is what is needed here, and that is what we should do. We're not starting over again, we have already learned a great deal about one another. We have a head start in that respect, but at the same time, we never took the time to really date and see one anther.

Point is, I want to discover Cody's character, and who he is right now. I'm actually quite excited about it. The only reservation I have is that I want to see him exclusively, and I think he is the same on his end.

Now, speaking of focus, I have a midterm on Wednesday, so I must be off to read about the Economics History of Canada. I'm going to have some tea, a blanket, a textbook, a fireplace and a good romantic evening with myself.