Fucking eBay !

Ok. So the seller emailed me yesterday (see previous post), which is annoyingly last-minute and very tardy on her part, to inform me that the second mailing did not go thro. therefore, She refunded my credit card on assumption I no longer want the items in question. This means that Steph, Tara and my Aunt all don't get they're much overdue Xmas presents.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH !

I'm going shopping tommorrow and making it up to all of them by increasing my budget of $60 for all three to $120. I also sent an adjective-heavy email back to said seller. I may actually make her cry when she reads it. Mind you, she is a stupid American, and may not understand my complex and advanced language-sarcasm skills.

In completely unrelated news, I may be buying a new or semi-new car soon. I can't decided if I'm moving out or buying a car, so I'm going to go car shopping a lot to try and figure out exactly how much a car will cost. Then I can make a sound cost-benefit analysis. Linda's (a coworker) husband is apparently a used car salesman, so he is coming with me on New Year's Eve and we are going to strike some bargains. There is a 2004 Honda Civic two-door that I really want. I also want a 2003 black Volkswagen GTI, but it's standard. I'm really not in the mood to learn standard. Also, Volkswagens are expensive to maintain, my uncle has warned me. I'm all about inexpensive and reliable efficiency. Honda seems good for that.

I love how my posts start on one topic and end on another.

eBay madness

Ok, so I bought my secret santa at work a present on eBay. I purchased it (won the bid) about two weeks ago, so I figured it would be here by now, wrong ! The seller sent me an email two days ago that she had tried to mail tha package to me, but that it had been sent back to her and she did not know why. She said she never ships outside the USA, but its ok because for some reason eBay still let me bid.

I told her to just refund my mastercard yesterday, I'll get my secret santa another present.

Well, she had already sent it a second time. So either my secret santa will get they're present in like a week (Dec 30) or I'll have to run to a store and buy a last-minute present, WHICH I HATE.

Yay for eBay. I'm never shopping for presents online again !

Baking Therapy

Yesterday I baked... a lot. I made Ginger Shortbread with white and dark chocolate dizzle, and First-Snow cookies, which are mostly dried cranberries, Amaretto liquor, and nuts. It was fun.

My friend called me yesterday. It's been ages since I've talked to her so I was quite happy. She has found herself a boyfriend, which almost made me fall over. She is the least boyfriend oriented person ever. She was always the sort that didn't see the point in relationships, kinda how I feel now. They just take time/energy, and are ultimately a waste, since all men out there are self-centered jerks. Why bother? Best to just be friends with benefits or just sleep with them once. That's really all most are good for. I'm such a romantic.

Anyways, so I was shocked that she had found someone, they have even told one another that they are in love... hrm. Well, I am happy for her, it is exciting news and it if it makes her happy, it makes me happy. The baking helps me ponder things like this. I'm also definately over someone, I actually feel bad that I wasted energy wishing I had them. Boys can either be friends, or used like a kleenex from now on ! HA !

I love baking therapy.

Phuckit

My cell phone is a bitch. It decided two days ago that it's battery can no longer function without charging for more than 6 hours. huh. Then it decided that it would just not charge when I attached it to the charger. So, it just sat there, hooked up to a perfectly good power supply and refused to charge. I think the phone was suicidal. The effect is that now the phone is soo dead it will not turn on, nor will it even charge.

My phone is, in all meanings of the word, dead.

I hated my phone anyways, and now I have an excuse to spend way too much money on a new cell phone plan for both me and my mom for Xmas. I think I am going to get the nice new Samsung, even though I always kinda thought they were crap. I like Nokias, but I'm torn between both of them.

Well, I'm off with Steph and her "other" friend. We're seeing The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I read the books when I was a child back in primary school. The Brits have sooo much better of a school system than we do, it was the best. Well, I just hope the movie lives up to my expectations from the book.

Xmas

Well, it is clealy upon us. I began my Xmas shopping yesterday. I know exactly what I want and whom I am buying presents for. Alas, I do not feel all that much into the spirit this year. Last year I dived whole-heartedly into the Xmas rush and jubilant celebrations. This year has been less so. I'm more excited about New Year's anyways. I think this is partly due to the fact that I work both Xmas Eve and Xmas Day. It kinda ruins the mood to think that I have to work to serve people on a day that practically all of North America takes off from work.

I should stop complaining. I'm quite excited about the whole gift-giving and buying experience. I just think that if everyone stopped buying presents for Xmas and instead agreed to spend time with their families and friends and participate in spiritual rituals, we would all lead healthier lives. Perhaps I will home-make all my presents this year. It's more fun for me, more rewarding, and ultimately, it means giving a present that people appreciate more. Since time is the most valuable thing to us, aren't the most valuable presents the ones we take time to make ?

Y.A.D.E. Begins

I have decided to form a group of Youth Against Death by Elderly (YADE). This was further sparked by another incident I had later yesterday. I was going to parallel park along the main street of this geriatric town. The car behind me had decided to park at a 45 degree angle from the curb, putting half of it in the lane of traffic and the other half in the spot before it. Effectively taking up two spots. Well, in these situations I always wish I can talk to the stupid drivers, who are inconsiderate and foolish. Well, as luck would have it, just as I'm giving up parking near this behemouth, an old lady comes crawling out of a nearby store to this car. I pull into reverse and put my window right next to her as she gets into the car, conversation goes as follows:

"Excuse me."

"why... hello, umm, yes?"

"It would be great if you could learn how to park, thank you."

*insert contorted shocked face here*

I then proceded to drive away and get a much-needed coffee at Starbucks.

Just Die Already !

Old people are idiots. Many of you know this, and feel fustrated with them like I do. However, when you live in a town with a mean population of 60, it becomes a subject of intense hatred.

Today, I went to a medical lab to get my blood taken and be tested. Not fun in the first place, expecially at 7am. Not one, but TWO old hunched-over-walker-using elderly buffoons decided that the sign clearly saying (in a rediculously huge font) to take a number upon entry was to be ignored. They walked straight up to the desk and started talking to a lab specialist. This lengthened my wait. The man in the corner who thought that his number was the next number 5 TIMES also increased my wait. Apparently 68 looks a lot like 63,64,65,66 and 67. Finally it comes to me, 71. I get my blood taken and walk out fine, but as I leave an old lady opens the door infront of me. I step aside to let her pass first, but she does not move. I can't move forward, because she is in my way. So, I move back leaving her plenty of room. She just stares me in the eye. Finally, two minutes later, I ask her if she is going to move, and she just stares. So, I end up taking the door from her, opening it further and kinda brushing past her, trying to be un-rude as possible. Conviced I am safe from more Geriatric attacks, I head home, which is only two blocks. Only five steps later, while crossing at a crosswalk, some senile I-can't-see-the-end-of-my-fucking-buick elderly henchman decides that 4-way-stop means go-no-stop. He almost hits the driver that is properly going through as per his right of way, and then slams on his breaks, in order to avoid hitting the 6 foot midget(sarcasm) he mustn't be able to see from 2 feet away (me). Then, the icing on the cake, he procedes to finger the other driver (who had right of way) and glare at me. Clearly it is my fault to assume that drivers know how to drive, and that I have the right to cross at a cross-walk. I fled home and did not feel secure from more retiree assaults until I locked all the doors.

I hate old people for a reason. They contribute nothing to society, they are dangerous to those who are healthy and young, and they are an annoyance. I propose to make senile aging illegal. We should just make an island somewhere for all the elderly and let them kill themselves off. I don't feel safe as long as there is a senile criminal-in-waiting anywhere within 1 km of me. The healthy, verile and young are not safe !

Missing you.

Dear Alcohol,

I know we've had our fights in the past, especially when I puked you up, but I think that we need to remember the happy memories. Like waking up laying on our backs in Eva's driveway at noon, not knowing how or why we were there. Or, when we dry-humped two guys in one night, and then took both back to hotel room afterwards. Good times. Anyways, this letter is to appoligise for how long it's been since I've seen you. I'm just getting over a horrid flu or else I wouldn't have cancelled our date tonight, but do not fear, I will see you on Sunday. Then we can go out with Tomas, Dan, Steph, Delyth, Tara and others and have another good time. It's been way too long that I"ve been sober. I promise to never spend this much time away from you ever again. Life is too real without you.

Loving and missing you,
-Matt

Revelation

Ever listen to a song for a long time, and then, one day, the lyrics make soo much sense to you ? That happened to me today. Driving back from my final this morning, which went well. I've heard this song tons of times, but for once I really actually paid attention to the lyrics, and it was soo relevant. Now the big decision, what to I do about my new found relevation?

Hung Up - Madonna

Time goes by so slowly

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up, I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call, baby, night and day
I'm fed up, I'm tired of waiting on you

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
No time to hesitate
Those who run seem to have all the fun
I'm caught up, I don't know what to do

Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
I don't know what to do

Ring ring ring goes the telephone
The lights are on but there's no one home
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two
And I'm done, I'm hanging up on you

I can't keep on waiting for you
I know that you're still hesitating
Don't cry for me 'cause I'll find my way
You'll wake up one day, but it'll be too late

Every little thing, every little thing
I'm hung up, I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call, waiting for your call
I'm fed up, I'm tired of waiting on you

Time goes by so slowly

So slowly

So, I don't know what to do

Every little thing, every little thing
I'm hung up, I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call, waiting for your call
I'm fed up, I'm tired of waiting on you

Food and Finals

Hrm. I ate a banana this morning, and my stomach feels relatively normal. I have an Econ 204 final tommorrow morning. I am just soo enthusiastic about it, NOT. I have to study today, though I think I understand the material fairly well. I started reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince when I was sick and now I'm about two-thirds done, yay me !

I miss Tomas. A side-effect of being sick was that I realised who I really missed spending time with. Steph was over for like eight hours yesterday, and she made me feel soo much better. We laughed a lot while eating soup, and played on the Nintendo Gamecube with my bro. Steph would be a great roomie, except we laugh so much when we're together I don't know if my stomach could handle the strain. I kinda miss work too, it's weird but I think I'll be be glad to work tommorrow after my exam, assuming I feel ok.

Argh, I have to study now. If I'm productive today I'm going to reward myself by watching Star Trek Voyager at 3pm... yes steph and Tara, I know I'm a dork.

Dammit

Well, I'm better today. My stomach hurts insanely, but I think thats just because I haven't eaten in like 30 hours. I woke up at 10am, and my final started at 9am, so clearly that isn't happening today. I feel soo stressed out, I can't believe I missed the final. I'll call my doctor today and see if she can write me a note. I've never had to do this before so I have no idea what to do. I still can't leave the house or the upstairs really, I'm really weak. Man, my stomach hurts. I'm also suppose to work at 5pm, so we'll see. I'll prolly call in sick right now to give them lots of time to find someone else. Worst time ever to get sick.

Infected

They are gone, but they left their mark. I woke up today for work, not feeling the greatest, but I thought it was just my allergy to waking up anytime before noon. Then as I was literally preparing to go out the door, I had a huge wave of nausea, and ran to the bathroom to deal with my expulsion of breakfast. I've been doing that every hour since about 9am now. I haven't eaten or drank anything today at all. I'm sitting in bed right now, hoping that work is ok without me. Steph called, to tell me she came to see me at work and I was not there. She and her friend are off to see "Rent", so now I'm sad. I can feel it building up again in my stomach, so I'll prolly have to run soon. Stupid children totally made me sick, they are like the rats of humanity. I'm suppose to have a final tommorrow, we'll see about that. Omg, I have to go.

Send Help !

I'm surrounded by children. I've successfully barrackaded myself in my room. I can't hole them off for long, the Nintendo Gamecube is in here. I tried calling Steph to help ease my mental pressures, but I had to go and have pizza with them all. My mom then abandoned me to go work on her computer for a bit, leaving me along with three 8 year-olds at a table. Have you ever listened to the discussions 8 year-olds have ??? its torture ! Misses blah blah isn't as good as Mr. blah, omg shelley's mom lets her watch tv till 9pm, blah, blah. HELP ME ! it's almost as bad as teenagers. I then have to be in a vehicle full of them for 30 mins when we drive to go see Harry Potter. Oh no, there is only 34 mins left on my computers battery. They control the room in which the recharger lies. It's only a matter of time before they win. They are comming. I can hear them finishing eating, and the running at the stairs. It's the gamecube they want. I hear the laughter and screaming, they can smell my fear. I've left candy outside but that only buys me precious few minutes. Battery is at 31 mins. They will get in before its dead. I never thought it would end like this.

P is for Pills

After spending the last few days completely depressed because of my face acne issues, I've finally decided to stop being such a pansy and do something. Solution = Accutane ! I've been avoiding it, since the side-effects are freaking scary: liver disease, bowel disorders, loss of hearing, depression, etc, but those are the rare ones. I think it's expensive too, but I dont't care frankly. I realised that the only reason I'm unhappy with my looks is the permanent ance under my skin, and its like red bubbles that are under the surface, they never actually break out, but just stay there and make my face sore. According to my doctor I could have scarring when I'm older too, hot eh ? gawd.

Anywho, so harsh drugs it is. Wee!

I feel really ugly today, but hopefully that will end soon. The only worry I have is the depression side effects of Accutane, but I'm sure that won't happen to me. I have to finish an assignment for tommorrow and I have a manager's meeting at work. hrmm, I should prolly do some laundry.

Namaste

Well, I just had my first day of Yoga classes. It was a great experience. I found it uplifting and really energizing. The only issue I had was when it came down to just focusing on nothing and not thinking. I would start thinking about how great of a job I was doing not thinking, and then realise I was thinking. Then I focused and started thinking about how I think too much in my life. Bam, yet another form of thinking. It was hard to shut up my brain. There were a couple of times that my brain stopped thinking, and I was able to focus and almost meditate, but then it would start again. I need to work on that.

Oh ! I got rid of my shift tonight too, so now I have the entire day off. I'm going to maybe go and get my brows waxed (gawd, I'm soo gay), and then write my paper that is due on Friday. Today will be a day of relaxation though, as much as I can make it :)

Escaped mental patient becomes a Starbucks manager

I felt like sharing this experience that my coworker and friend, Steph, had with our assistant manager, Kevan. Kevan is in all likeliness slightly insane, but in a good way. Well, sometimes its good. anwyays, here it is:

She's on till and he comes over and points to a man just outside the window and says, "that man stepped in dog poo, and now he's trying to get it off his shoe, I love watching people do things like step in dog poo."

Thats our assistant manager for you. The most random person ever. He also likes to talk about his three cats, whom he refers to by name. This often confuses customers because he talks about them as if they are people he lives with. Usually staff have to explain and appoligize after he talks to customers. Kevan is often so random that people are confused as to whether his conversations are a form of punishment, because he talks at you, not to you, and drones on and on about the least interesting subjects on the planet. Coincidently, this subject is usually his cats. It entertains, fustrates and confuses me all at the same time.

Me !

Caution ! these pics are old, I need to take new ones.

Alrightly Then !

I just want to sare that's its freaking annoying trying to post pics using this weird software! haha, or maybe I'm just too tired to know whats going on. meh.

Ridiculous

I just talked at length with a friend about Tomas. I need to make more time for mysel. I can only be with someone else when I've learned to be alone. Life is soo confusing. I feel all discouraged about the prospects of ever meeting a normal guy I can love. But I know I can love myself, so that's where I need to focus.

I'm doing yoga starting monday, with a friend, Steph. That has me excited.

Gawd, I have to be up for school tommorrow at like 7am, guess its gonna be a sleepless night again. Listening to progressive trance and house music doesn't exactly help the situation.

I told Tomas I didn't want to see him this weekend. An obvious lie. We need some time apart, so he can figure out his crap, and so I can get over him and move on, so we can just be friends. I doubt either will happen ! at least, I secretly hope it won't...